


Burdened

by wildandsexy



Category: GOT7
Genre: 5k words of jaebum being an emotionally constipated dork, Angst, Heavy Petting, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Pining, Rejection, and jackson being really confused, and jinyoung being so done, cus porn is scary and an obstacle i will tackle another day, i'm jackbum trash, not an au, well as much as angst as i can fit in 5k words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-23 22:26:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6132092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildandsexy/pseuds/wildandsexy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaebum didn’t actually mean to kiss Jackson. If anyone asks it was in the heat of the moment. He just got caught up in a joke. It was an accident. A really really good accident. </p><p>Jaebum makes a really dumb mistake and has no idea how to handle it... so he doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burdened

Jaebum didn’t actually mean to kiss Jackson. If anyone asks it was in the heat of the moment. He just got caught up in a joke. It was an accident. A really really good accident that had Jaebum sweating in his seat, staring at the utter shock on Jackson’s face and knowing it to be reflected by his own. It was a really good accident that created a silence in the room so resounding he could hear his own frantic heartbeats as blood rushed through him. It was an accident that made his head feel like it was going to split, his stomach turn unpleasantly and Jackson’s hand move slowly- pressing two fingers to where Jaebum’s lips had just met his, as if checking they were still there. 

It was an accident that made Jaebum practically sprint for the door. 

He didn’t stay away from the dorm for long. He wanted to hide from his actions and their consequences and drawing extra attention would not help him in that. So he wandered around Seoul for only a few hours, running some errands and being especially appreciative of the facemask that kept him hidden and gave him much needed privacy out in the open. But eventually it was time to return and he lingered outside the door for a moment to collect himself before going back inside. 

Inside was completely ordinary- although he wasn’t sure exactly what he had expected. Perhaps a huge banner, strung across their living space stating, “You’re a creep and we never want to see you again!” Or maybe an intervention, with all the members sitting calmly in a circle and telling him not to feel attacked but they want him out of the group. Maybe even Jackson sitting alone with the others already in bed, and waiting wordlessly for him and fully prepared to tear his heart to pieces. 

Instead what he finds is nothing out of the ordinary. The boys are all crowded around the TV playing Mario cart and yelling at one another, with the notable exception of one member from Hong Kong. 

He nods to them all, heading towards the bedrooms where he sneaks a glance through the door to Jackson’s to see it, like all the others, is empty. It takes him a few moments as he tries to figure out whether the feeling settling in his stomach is relief or disappointment before he gives up and returns to the others. 

“Where’s Jackson?” He asks casually, sinking into the couch beside Youngjae and smiling as the younger boy calls out in excitement as he overtakes Bambam. 

It’s Jinyoung who eventually answers, the boy obviously taking a break from racing and tapping away on his phone, “I don’t know he didn’t say just said he was going out… He seemed like he was in a hurry.” 

Jaebum nods, turning his eyes to the screen and faking interest in the racing while his heart pitter-patters in his chest and his stomach sinks even further. 

They hang around the TV for a while longer before Jaebum is too overwhelmed by his nervous energy and how he whips his head to face the door at every little sound that may signal Jackson’s return. He gives in, saying his goodnights and reminding them all to get plenty of sleep, before he grabs his towel and heads to off shower before bed. 

He hopes the warm torrents of water with sooth him, but instead with his eyes closed and nothing to occupy his thoughts with but the mindless task of washing himself he finds his feelings louder than ever. 

His mind is blank when it comes to rationalizations, but heavy with panic and dread. 

He knows that he has done something that will cause change no matter what he does. He kissed one of his best friends. He kissed him and ran for the door. He didn’t even try to laugh it off or do anything that could disguise the blind panic and humiliation but instead ran from his actions like a coward. 

He knows this but despite this when he finally stops wasting water and drags himself from the shower to head to bed and he spots Jackson, freshly returned home, he runs for his room to avoid the probing gaze he feels against the back of his head. 

***

‘It wasn’t a dream’ is his first thought as he pries open his eyes in the morning. He sighs, reaching for where his phone is beeping at him to wake up and turning it off with maybe too much aggression. 

They have interviews all day for their most recent comeback and Jaebum knows he needs to get up, but it is a struggle more than ever. Youngjae groans from across the room and he huffs out a soft laugh. The kiss may have changed everything with him and Jackson, but nothing will ever change his group’s lack of enthusiasm for early mornings. 

He expects to be the only one up, so when he strides into the kitchen and finds Jackson, pouring himself a mug of tea and greeting him with a meek smile he jolts in surprise. 

“Morning hyung,” Jackson says quietly and Jaebum can’t keep his eyes as he nods in reply. 

Jaebum is collecting his thoughts, trying to gather the courage to actually say something- anything- about what happened when he hears Jinyoung shuffle into the kitchen from behind him. 

“Good morning,” Jinyoung says sleepily, pausing for a moment when he sees Jaebum’s facial expression and looking hesitantly between him and Jackson. “How are we all?” 

Jackson stays silent, still trying to catch Jaebum’s eyes who just nods to Jinyoung and hurries away to get ready for the day. 

***

The interviews go fine. If Jaebum is quieter than usual its not too obvious and he can shoo off any concerns with a charming smile to the interviewer and a declaration about how they’ve been working harder than ever for their fans. 

Jaebum doesn’t know if it is just his own mind overthinking things when he notices Jackson’s being quieter than usual at the start, but on the day goes on and the others’ energy begins to wane his jokes come out stronger. 

Jaebum’s heart definitely does not pull when he notes the jokes are never with him and the spaces beside him don’t feel empty when he realizes Jackson hasn’t sat next to him all day. 

***

Jaebum doesn’t do romance. It’s not an extraordinary thing for kpop stars, the industry doesn’t exactly encourage dating and especially with their no dating contract GOT7 members are always very discreet with any person they may have interest in. 

He knows some of the others have had their crushes and dates they’ve kept quiet but he never saw the real appeal. He was proud of his position in the group and industry, and very aware of the work he had put in to get there. There had never been a moment where he had really considered someone to be worth pursuing if it may put that in jeopardy. Sure every now and then he would go out and meet a pretty girl and enjoy himself but it was never more than that- never more than one night’s distraction before focusing himself back on his work. He didn’t have the time to distract himself longer than that. He needed to be focused and well rested and composed. 

After he kissed Jackson he couldn’t see the appeal of even finding someone for one-night’s distraction. With a familiar tug to his chest he realized he knew there was only one person he would want to spend such time with, and that person was someone he definitely couldn’t. 

***

Award shows were always slightly terrifying, a little exhilarating and intermittently boring. Makeup and wardrobe for hours just to walk down a carpet and pose for photos for 20 very hot and overwhelming minutes, then to be immediately whisked away to sit at a dimly lit table where you can hardly hear one another speak, finally ushered off backstage where you are once more put through makeup and into a new wardrobe, performing and encountering all the terrifying excitement that encompasses before finally returning home. 

They were hurrying back to the dorms after the show had run overtime and Jaebum was still so dazed and caught up in the whirlwind that he didn’t realize who he was being shoved in the van next to until the doors slam shut. 

Yugyeom, Youngjae and Bambam were sitting in the seats in front of them, laughing to each other as they pass around their phones showing various funny screenshots from the event that have already made their way online. 

Jinyoung is in the front with their driver and Jaebum is envious of him from where he’s squished in beside Jackson and Mark. 

Mark is also on his phone, tapping away a message to god knows who and Jaebum realizes Jackson is watching him. His hair is still perfect, shiny and neatly coiffed back in a way that the noonas know will make the fans go crazy, but his eye makeup is smudged just enough that Jaebum knows how weary he is. 

Jaebum is also struggling to keep his eyes open and he sighs, too tired to try and confront the tension between them. But in the crowded van, surrounded by the other members and exhausted from a huge night the tension thrums low and Jaebum relaxes into Jackson’s side- smiling when he feels the younger boy lean back into his side and doze off. 

***

Things don’t exactly get easier after that. Jaebum still feels as if he’s walking on eggshells around the dorm and every time he spies Jackson coming out of the shower, towel slung low on his hips and hair slicked back handsomely, he has to avert his eyes for fear of making the boy even more uncomfortable. But when Jaebum finds it in him to meet the eyes that he always feels on him, he doesn’t feel quite so examined. 

He thinks he’s doing well at hiding his own inter turmoil until Jinyoung corners him while he’s doing extra dance practice and the others are enjoying a rare afternoon off. 

“Hyung,” Jinyoung says and Jaebum nods to him, ignoring his stern brow and continuing to run through the series of steps he knows he mastered hours ago. “What are you doing?”

He lets out a fake laugh, and continues the sharp movements, “You can’t tell? Maybe we should get your eyes checked.” 

But Jinyoung isn’t having it, moving to stand between him and the mirror and blocking the view of his reflection, “Maybe I should rephrase that- what are you and Jackson doing?” 

Jaebum usually has a pretty good poker face but this tie Jinyoung sees through it, rolling his eyes when he tries to fake confused. So he continues to avoid eye contact, a practice that is soon becoming second nature. 

“Hyung,” Jinyoung says warningly, stepping closer and making it impossible for Jaebum to avoid his gaze. 

“You know Jinyoung-ah I’m surprised they had you grow out your hair after JJP- I really thought that Mohawk suited you well,” he deflects, ruffling his hands through the younger’s hair and making his way to the door. 

He hears a heavy sigh behind him and foolishly lets himself think Jinyoung has let him get away with avoiding the topic when he hears it. 

“He won’t stop staring at you.”

Jaebum forgets to release his breath. 

“It’s none of your business Jinyoung,” He says, knowing how much of a coward it proves him to be. 

“That’s fair,” Jinyoung begins to walk ahead of him to the door before he pauses in the doorway and Jaebum avoids his gaze for fear of the pity that resides there. “You still need to talk to him. Or at least let him talk to you.”

***

Jinyoung’s advice doesn’t change much- Jaebum is nothing if not stubborn and when he sets his mind to it he can avoid confrontation indefinitely. But it is his other words that linger in his mind, keeping him awake and keeping him a constant bundle of nerves. 

“He won’t stop staring at you.” 

Jaebum knew this to be true and a heavy feeling had settled in his gut since speaking to Jinyoung about it. It was so much easier to avoid and run away from such feeling rather than deal with them. 

Jaebum knew there was nothing to gain but rejection and pity, and while he knew he could bring himself to accept the rejection he wasn’t so confident he could handle pity. He was their leader who should be able to handle himself with grace and dignity and falling for one of his group members who would never feel the same way was humiliating. Jinyoung had already unintentionally provided him with enough pity in the small talk they had experienced and Jaebum had seen the concerned and confused glances Jackson threw his way so he knew any confrontation with him would be 100x times worse. 

Jaebum knew how he felt about Jackson and now Jackson knew too, and from the reaction he had received it was perfectly obvious his feelings were not returned. So there was no rush to discuss it and drag out what was already a painful experience. He just needed time and space and the resolve to move on. 

He hoped he’d find it soon. 

***

Jaebum couldn’t really pinpoint precisely when his feelings for Jackson had progressed past purely platonic. He had begun believing himself a sort of mentor/older brother figure for the younger members and he had born that role proudly. He enjoyed the responsibility and he was man enough to admit that a fair bit of his pride in being leader came from liking the way it sounded. 

But Jackson- Jackson had always been niggling in the back of his mind- always trying to help and share the burdens of his group members and ensure they were all happy and comfortable and calm. At first Jaebum was unsure of this as he was the leader after all and it was his responsibility to run the group- but it was one night when he came into the kitchen in the night, searching for a snack after accidentally staying up too late reading that he found Jackson curled up on the couch flicking through photos on his phone. 

“Jackson?” He had mumbled in surprise, ambling up behind the boy who he realized was slowly scrolling through photos of his parents. 

“Hyung!” Jackson exclaimed, going to put away his phone before he realized Jaebum had already seen it. “I didn’t realise you were up.” 

“Getting a snack,” Jaebum explained, sinking into the seat beside Jackson and gesturing for his phone. Jackson passed it to him and he smiled as he scrolled through a few photos. “You look like your mom.” 

Jackson smiled softly, “Thank you.”

“Do you miss them a lot?” 

Jackson nodded, laughing quietly, “Of course. You?” 

Jaebum felt guilty confessing he missed his too when his were nowhere near as far away as Jackson’s but he nodded anyway. 

“You know I never thought they’d support me when I told them I wanted to come over here and at first they weren’t really sure. I had to beg them to consider it and then I had to train until I thought my legs would give out so they would let me. I realize now that by making me work so hard and making me so committed they were giving me the best preparation I could ask for this kind of life.”

Jaebum had heard the stories in passing but this was the most he or any of the others had heard him speak about it. He didn’t know if it was the illusion of privacy in the dimly lit room or Jackson feeling comfortable enough that prompted him to speak about it with but he was glad for it. “I bet they’re really proud of you.”

Jackson nodded, “That’s what they always tell me.”

“How could they not be?” Jaebum had said, smiling gently as he reached for Jackson’s shoulder and pulled him up to stand with him. “Come on, its way past both of our bedtimes.” 

And that was when Jaebum first realized that Jackson was so eager to help others with their burdens because he knew the weight of carrying one himself. 

***

Jaebum was never one to share his burdens with others, preferring to carry them silently for fear of looking weak. But the thing about Jackson was that saying no never really stopped him from doing what he set his mind to. 

One night when Jaebum had stayed in the studio hours after the others had left he heard a door swing open from behind him interrupting his practice. 

“Hyung! I thought I’d find you here!” Jackson called cheerfully. 

Jaeum sighed, pausing the backing track and turning to face him, “What is it Jackson? I’m trying to get this choreography perfect I don’t have a lot of time.”

Jackson smiled softly, moving to stand beside him and mirroring his final position. “Show me.”

Jaebum groaned again. His muscles were near-jelly and his head spinning and he lacked the patience to humor Jackson much longer, “I don’t have the time-“ 

“Let me help! You’ll put out your legs doing this so many times over- tell me what to do and watch and we can work it out together.” The way Jackson said it, as if it was so obvious he couldn’t believe he hadn’t already started, made Jaebum pause eying the other boy. 

“Didn’t you need to talk to me about something?” 

“Of course! And here I am- talking to you about how you need to accept my help,” Jackson grinned cheekily and Jaebum ran his hand over his eyes as he thought it over. 

His body was aching and he did always struggle planning choreography with only his own reflection to watch and- as much as he didn’t like to admit it- being around Jackson had a habit of grounding them both. 

So he let Jackson stay and they got through the choreography in record time and every time someone complimented it he couldn’t help the warm feeling that ran through him when Jackson sent him an overly conspicuous wink and thumbs up. 

***

Jaebum was selfish by nature and he recognized this. 

He avoided Jackson for months because of his own weaknesses. He tried not to spare a thought for the effect he was having on the other boy for fear of giving in and approaching him. He had after all cut himself out of one of his best friend’s life with no explanation and he knew deep down how horrible a friend and leader that made him. 

He wished he could claim, when he eventually spoke to Jackson, it was out of courage or determination, but it was mostly because he couldn’t be in the same room as the other boy without feeling the heavy burden of shame. 

***

The night it happened they had been watching TV, some kdrama that neither of them really followed and Jackson had decided to make up fake backstories for the characters and suddenly they were 3 episodes in and Jackson’s backstories had evolved into a full-blown conspiracy subplot that Jaebum honestly believed was just as good if not better than the real writing. 

When he informed Jackson of this the boy had laughed in delight, crowing out, “They should hire me to write an episode for them! Jackson Wang: rapper, fencer, martial arts tricker and now WRITER!”

Jaebum chuckled, eyes crinkling in fondness as Jackson continued on about how his career in writing would truly break new boundaries for kpop. 

“I bet I’d be a good actor too,” Jackson claimed confidently and Jaebum scoffed. “You don’t think I’d be a good actor? Hyung I have never been so insulted… Anyway you were on Dream Knight 2 and no matter how bad I am I could never be worse than you on that!” 

Jackson received a well placed elbow to the stomach for that and Jaebum fought to keep a smile off his face at the sound of pained giggles, “Shut up you little brat! When will you all leave me alone for that?”

“Maybe when we can erase that dance-fight from our heads- although that was so memorable I don’t think we ever will,” Jaebum groaned again as Jackson cackled away for a moment or two. “But anyway I definitely could and should be an actor even if you don’t support my dream.” 

Jaebum rolled his eyes and turned back to the television. 

“Maybe I’ll even let you rehearse with me and you can improve your own skills. I’ll be your mentor-“ Jaebum turned to face him in disbelief but Jackson carried on, grinning slyly. “I can imagine it now hyung- you playing the stoically harsh and grumpy man that the protagonist falls for. You would hardly even have to act-”

“Wow thank you for that,” Jaebum responded dryly and Jackson ignored him.

“He has a hard shell and a meanness to him and he thinks this meek girl is just another insignificant person until she proves she’s so much more! So he realizes that he really cares for her-” Jackson was basically recounting the drama they had just watched and Jaebum rolled his eyes again. 

“Okay well then what character would you be Jackson?” He played along. 

“I’d be the wise best friend of course! The one who, when the guy is being an idiot and ignoring the one he loves, pulls him aside and tells him to stop being thick and tells him- if you love someone and want to be with them you need to actually show them.”

Jaebum didn’t notice the way Jackson’s eyes watched his face carefully for reaction to his words, too busy fiddling with the hem of his shirt, “Oh really? And why are you so wise when it comes to advice on love?”

His eyes flicked up to Jackson and their gaze locked. The room was deathly silent and deafening at once and Jaebum was completely overwhelmed. 

“Experience.”

The moment passed. Jaebum looked away. 

“So what happens next?” He asks quietly, clearing his throat slightly. 

Jackson looks confused for a moment before remembering, “Well of course one of them will confess their feelings. They’ll say how despite their differences and the obstacles keeping them apart they want to be with the other…” Jaebum smiled sadly, knowing that such fanciful words didn’t belong outside of TV. 

“Anything else?” 

It was Jackson’s turn to clear his throat and Jaebum turned to face him as their eyes locked. Electricity thrummed under his skin and he felt his stomach turn uneasily as Jackson carried on, “They’d say ‘we started out so different with no understanding of one another and then we became more and grew closer and now they can’t help but be in love with you.’”

Jaebum knew it was all a joke and none of the words Jackson was saying were anything different from what they had just witnessed on TV but he couldn’t help it as his hands reached for Jackson, cradling his face as he leant in and placed one gentle peck to the boys soft lips. 

But when those lips and the boy attached did little to react apart from freezing in shock Jaebum ran for the door without sparing a look back. So two months later Jaebum still lay in bed, now determined to clear the air, but unable to forget how it felt to kiss the person he loved- even just once 

***

The next day they had more shoots than ever and there wasn’t a moment to even think about trying to have a conversation regarding a potentially group-altering incident as they were changed in an out of new outfits as if they were the coordi noonas’ own life size dress up dolls. 

Jaebum’s eyes were on Jackson as he laughed and joked with Bambam and the staff, gaze lingering on where the young staffer had her hand resting on his forearm. 

“Stop being so jealous they’re just being friendly,” Jinyoung murmured, slipping in to stand beside him as soon as his makeup was done. 

“I’m not jealous-“ 

“Yes you are,” Jinyoung stated, rolling his eyes and bumping his shoulder against him. 

“Maybe a little,” Jaebum conceded, still watching the way Jackson’s eyes scrunched up at something Bambam said. 

“You did something didn’t you,” Jinyoung says matter-of-factly and Jaebum’s eyes shot back to him. 

“What?” 

“What was it? You obviously didn’t tell him how you feel because the two of you won’t stop staring at each other whenever you think nobody is looking,” Jinyoung spoke so smoothly, as if discussing the weather or a new schedule. 

“Jinyoung-“ Jaebum warned desperately, carefully checking no staff were near enough to hear them. 

“Oh my god- you kissed him didn’t you.”

Jaebum’s eyes closed in defeat. 

“But I don’t understand-“

“He doesn’t feel the same way Jinyoung,” Jaebum said quietly, feeling like sinking through the floor and disappearing from the world entirely would be idyllic in this very moment. 

“What? Of course he-” the sound of the photographer calling over everyone interrupted them and Jinyoung looked quickly at him. “You really need to talk to him.”

Jaebum nodded, smiling sadly as he made his way over to set. 

“I know.” 

***

By the time they got home it was long past dark and they were all too tired for TV. Jaebum waved goodnight to the others as they all made their way to their rooms but grabbed at Jackson’s arm as he went to walk past. 

“I uh- I need to talk to you, really quickly,” He averted his eyes shyly and looked just in time to see Jinyoung mouth “good luck” over Jackson’s shoulder. 

Jackson looked alarmed but he nodded silently. It wasn’t until the others had departed that Jaebum realized he still was clinging to Jackson’s arm and he dropped it quickly, wincing in apology. “Sorry!” 

Jackson studied him carefully, “No worries hyung.” 

Jaebum’s mouth moved to form words but nothing came out and Jackson continued to observe him, face closed off and keeping any indication of his feelings hidden.

“Hyung you know to talk to someone you need to actually use your vocal chords, right?” 

Jaebum rolled his eyes, “Shut up you brat I know that.” He huffed, fixing his hair quickly. “I just wanted to apologise for what happened- I put you in an uncomfortable position and I avoided you and I tried to hide from what I did but I’m finished hiding. I am sorry that I made you uncomfortable, your friendship means a lot to me and I won’t let anything get in the way of that.” 

Jackson nodded, “I understand.”

“I don’t know why I did it-“ Jaebum stopped himself. He needed to be honest. “Well I mean I know why I did it but it wasn’t fair to do it when you obviously don’t feel the same way I do.” 

Jackson looked thrown, “Wait hyung what are you apologizing for?”

Jaebum needed to sink into the floor right about now, he spoke slowly, “I’m apologizing for kissing you.”

“For kissing me?” Jackson sounded shocked and Jaebum couldn’t help but feel a little bit insulted. 

“Yes for kissing you- I mean I guess it might not have meant a lot to you Jackson but you have to at least remember-“

“I thought you were apologizing for running away before I could even say anything.” 

It was Jaebum’s turn to be confused, “Uh-“

“So you weren’t apologizing for running?” 

“No- I mean well yes I am apologizing for being a coward and running away afterwards but also for kissing you. It was out of line.” 

Jackson was looking at him like he’d just grown a third eye, “Jaebum I wasn’t offended by you kissing me. I was hurt because you ran away after like it was the most horrible moment of your life.”

Jaebum was exasperated now, Jackson was not being exactly empathetic, “Well I didn’t mean to cause offense but I tend to not relish hanging around when I’ve been rejected by my best friend.” 

Jackson shook his head swiftly, “But that’s just it- I never even rejected you! You ran away before I could even kiss you back!”

“I ran away because-“ Jaebum paused. “Wait- back?”

Jackson’s frustrated expression gave way to a fond one at the look or pure disbelief that passed across Jaebum’s face. 

“Of course back you idiot!” 

“Don’t call me an idiot I’m your hyung!”

“I’ll stop calling you an idiot if you get your ass over here and let me actually kiss you properly,” Jackson stated emphatically and Jaebum felt like he was about to fall on his ass. 

He paused for a moment, all bravado gone and suddenly hugely nervous, “Uh-“ 

Jackson huffed loudly, stepping up to him and standing on his tippy toes to reach him, “If you tell anyone I have to stand like this to kiss you I will-“

Jaebum never hears what exactly Jackson will do to him as he uses his height to his advantage, pressing a firm kiss to his lips and cutting off his rant. He’s still hesitant initially, still worried about scaring him off or him changing his mind, but it soon becomes clear that Jackson isn’t going anywhere. 

Jackson tugs him tighter to him, taking and taking and taking all affection Jaebum will give him and returning it tenfold. He groans against Jaebum’s mouth before shoving the taller boy back to the couch and scrambling over him to rock down into his lap. 

“I can’t believe you thought I didn’t like you-“ Jackson murmured, lips brushing against his ear as Jaebum presses soft kisses to his neck that have him shivering. 

“Well maybe you should have- actually- kissed- me- back,” Jaebum whispers, punctuating each of his breaks with a kiss and a final nip to his bottom lip that has Jackson hissing. 

“I would have!” Jackson exclaims, reaching under Jaebum’s shirt and running a soft hand up his stomach. “If you hadn’t-“ his finger brushes Jaebum’s nipple and he lets out a gasp into the curve of Jackson’s neck. “Run from the room-“ he brushes it again, purposefully this time and Jaebum is about to lose it. “Like you were about to die.” 

“I am about to die,” Jaebum moans, manhandling Jackson onto his back and pulling the boy’s shirt over his head. 

“Okay good- me too,” Jackson says, smiling gleefully and Jaebum laughs, falling face first into his chest. He hums in satisfaction as he feels hands brushing through his hair, pressing quick pecks to the trail of hair leading down the toned stomach before him. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” he feels shame overpower the want running through him. “I’m so sorry for how I treated you. I was scared.” 

Jackson huffed, “It’s okay. We’re got here eventually didn’t we? Even if it took way longer than necessary.”

Jaebum looked up to him, locking eyes as he ran his hands under the back of his thighs and clenched them tightly, “I’ll just have to make it up to you.” 

He took pleasure in the choked out breath Jackson released and the dark want in his eyes. He took even greater pleasure in how little time it took before he had Jackson gasping for air, thighs over his shoulder as Jaebum took him apart piece by piece. And finally he took the greatest pleasure in how, after his final convincing thrust Jackson trembled and tugged them together firmly, gasping out his own confession of love just in time to push Jaebum also over the edge. 

“I love you too.”

*** 

Jinyoung discovers them still on the couch in the morning- pantsless and so intertwined up that he says they are disgustingly cute and that they need to buy a new couch. He takes a photo of them still asleep with Jackson’s face cradled against Jaebum’s chest contently and Jaebum’s own private smile pressed to his head. 

Jaebum knows he’s lying when he promised he’d deleted the photo because next time he checks his phone Jackson made it his background. 

But he’s fine with it. He does love the guy after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there thank you so much for reading this- I have been crazy busy and suffering from major writers block alongside my own mental health shenanigans for the past few months but I decided I needed to start writing again so here we are. I'm not 100% certain about this but I hope someone out there enjoys it! Let me know :) Thank you again xoxo


End file.
